Many years ago, if you thought of a funeral director, you would envision a long black coat, black top hat and quite a stern, serious person behind it all. We hope that these days that isn’t the case, but if some readers still feel that funeral directors are all the same, hopefully this series will change your mind.
Since joining the team here at Franklin and Hawkins Nik has studied for and received his National Diploma in Funeral Directing and is currently studying with the British Institute of Embalmers which is a three year course gaining him a qualification and membership with the only recognised Embalming Institute in the UK.
Today we had a chat with Nik, who as one of our funeral directors, embalmers and our operations manager, truly wears many metaphorical hats at Franklin and Hawkins.
The first question everyone is being asked, is the same question most people ask us when they find out what we do for a living….why did you join the funeral industry?
After going to a few funerals when I was younger, I found myself feeling more and more interested in the process behind the scenes. I’ve always enjoyed working with people, especially when they were going through something challenging so when I saw a job opportunity I thought I’d apply and I’ve never looked back. When I did start working in the funeral industry, after my first day I realised what does happen behind the scenes is a huge amount of care, respect, dignity and organisation, as well as incredibly high standards at all times. That’s when I knew that this would be the profession I’d be in for the rest of my life.
Since joining the team at Franklin and Hawkins five years ago, what has been your proudest or most rewarding moment?
Realising that the care and support that we are able to offer to families as a small independent funeral directors is brilliant. We really get to know our families and being able to deliver the final goodbye to their loved one tailored to exactly how they wanted it to be, is an honour. I’ve also been so lucky to get to learn from our directors through their experience and advice.
You seem to be very focused on learning and challenging yourself, is there any advice you would give to someone with a desire to join the funeral industry, given that there are no set qualifications required?
I would say don’t join too young, go and get some life experience first, good and bad, so then you can understand and comfort a family authentically. Be prepared that you are possibly going to see and experience some quite traumatic and upsetting situations, both physically and mentally. Those are the things that books and courses can’t teach you, however if you can learn to manage what you see, hear and feel, any role within the funeral industry is extremely rewarding.
Being an embalmer carries quite a lot of pressure as families are often counting on you to look after their loved ones so they are able to say a final goodbye in the chapel of rest. Has there been times when you haven’t been able to look after someone due to various circumstances and how do you deal with that?
Unfortunately yes, as an embalmer and a funeral director I really wish that I could give every family that wishes to visit the chapel of rest the opportunity to say goodbye, but sometimes that’s not possible. This could be for a number of reasons and in those circumstances I always take a moment and think to myself, if this was my Mum or Dad would I want this to be my last memory of them? If the answer is no, then I know I have to have a difficult conversation, but also that I’ve tried my best and can honestly say this to the families.
Is there a funeral service that you will always remember, and why?
We looked after a family early last year who had lost their Dad and through meeting with them a few times we struck up a good relationship. He loved Ozzy Osbourne, as do I and they also had a theme for the funeral which was, let’s just say “loud, colourful” shirts, and all the mourners would be wearing them. I wore one of my step son’s shirts as a surprise and they loved it. After the service we talked about Ozzy Osbourne and I said how me and my step son were hoping to get tickets to his final concert that summer. They asked me to promise if we did go to have a drink for him. The night before the show, at the last minute we managed to get tickets, and of course I had a drink for him while Ozzy played. A few weeks later I was able to catch up with them and tell them. It was a really amazing full circle moment.
And finally, tell us something about yourself that people maybe surprised to learn?
I’ve just got my first tattoo, at the age of 37! It’s Ozzy Osbourne themed and it shocked everyone as I always said I would never have one.
So as we leave Nik to continue looking after the loved ones in our care, you now know he is in his suit paging towards the chapel with his top hat and cane, or in his surgical scrubs in our mortuary, he is extremely proud of the difference he gets to make everyday, and dedicated to consistently improving his knowledge and expertise on all things funeral related.
And likely always singing a Black Sabbath song in his head.
