For some families, spending time with someone in our chapel of rest can bring comfort, reassurance and a sense of peace. For others, it may feel too difficult, or simply not like something they wish to do. The important thing to remember is this:
There is no right or wrong decision. There is only the decision that feels right for you.
And as always, at Franklin and Hawkins we commit to being honest and transparent to all the families we have the honour of looking after. And sometimes, due to circumstances surrounding the passing of a loved one, or if significant time has passed, we may advise that viewing in the chapel, would be too distressing. We would talk this through with you, and explain any concerns we may have, as well as listening to yours.
What Is a Chapel of Rest?
A chapel of rest is a private, quiet space where families can spend time with the person who has died before the funeral takes place. For some, it is an opportunity to say goodbye. For others, it is simply a chance to sit together, reflect, share memories, or feel close to the person they love one last time.
All our chapel visits, at either our Tile Hill or Marston Green funeral homes, are arranged privately and at a pace that feels comfortable for each family.
Our chapels are all named after loved ones from our own families, or those who put their trust in us during the early days of Franklin and Hawkins.
When entering the chapel of rest, we always knock on the door, we also visit your loved ones first thing in the morning and at the end of the say to say good morning and goodnight.
The Benefits of Visiting
Many people worry about how they will feel before visiting, yet afterwards tell us they are glad they made the decision.
Visiting can:
Provide reassurance
Seeing someone looking peaceful can help make the reality of a death feel more tangible and easier to process.
Offer an opportunity to say goodbye
Sometimes there are things left unsaid. A visit can create space for quiet words, tears, gratitude or simply presence.
Reduce uncertainty
People often imagine things that are far more frightening than reality. Visiting can ease anxieties and provide comfort.
Support children and young people
When approached gently and honestly, some children find visits helpful in understanding what has happened and beginning to process their grief. And there are times when seeing a coffin in a private environment helps make their grief tangible, and can eleviate some of the shock on the day of the service if they haven’t seen a coffin before.
Create a lasting memory
Many families speak about the calmness of the chapel and how those final moments become an important part of their grieving journey.
It Is Also Completely Okay Not to Visit
Choosing not to visit does not mean you loved someone any less. For some people, their lasting memory is of a holiday, a birthday, a conversation, or a moment filled with laughter. They wish to hold onto that memory rather than create a new one. Others know instinctively that visiting would be too difficult emotionally.
Both responses are entirely valid.
Grief is deeply personal, and there is no checklist of things that must be done. Many people feel relief simply hearing that they have permission to say: “I don’t think visiting is for me.” And that is perfectly okay.
A Closed Coffin Visit Can Be Meaningful Too
When people think about chapel visits, they often assume it means viewing someone. But this isn’t always the case. Sometimes families choose to spend time together with the coffin closed and sometimes as we mentioned above viewing may not be advised, so sitting with a closed coffin is a way to still have that time before the funeral.
For some people, this can feel gentler and more comfortable while still providing an opportunity to say goodbye. There is something profoundly meaningful about creating space simply to be present.
Trust Yourself
Only you know what feels right. You might choose to visit immediately. You may decide after some thought. You might visit with the coffin closed. Or you may decide not to visit at all.
Whatever choice you make, it should never come from pressure or expectation. And if you are nervous or anxious about visiting, we will be by your side if you would like us to be, and sit with you until you feel ok.
At Franklin & Hawkins, we are here to support families in whatever feels most appropriate for them, offering guidance, reassurance and understanding every step of the way.
